April 2006

The first milk cow that I can remember was named Farah Faucets Four and I was 25 before I got the joke.

When most folks think of cows they tend to envision the ones with those big black spots that look like a computer box. These are in fact cows of the milking variety, anyone who pluralizes "cow" into "cattle" is most likely more familiar with the beef producing kind. Those of us in the beef business don't really think much of milk cows and it is only on very special occasions and in the most polite of circles that we would consider referring to them as a "dairy" cow. There are big differences between the two types, for example to round up a herd of beef cattle you need horses and ropes and spurs and things like that. To round up a bunch of milk cows you need a bucket of corn, and no matter how many you have, you never have a "herd". Ranchers raise cattle, dairy farmers raise milk cows, and the level of mixing between the two groups is roughly the same as that at the annual Pakistan-India Friendship Ball held each May at the Kashmir Country Club.

Calving time at the ranch is one of the busiest times of the year. If all goes according to plan a cow has her calf, within a couple of hours of hitting the ground it's up nursing and off they go until weaning. But things don't always go according to plan. Maybe the momma cow has a headache and isn't up for the suckling action, maybe she has twins and only wanted singles, or maybe it turns out that her udder really was just ornamental after all and she's a no-milker.

Every ranch needs a plan B for these occasions and that's where the milk cow comes in. Ol' Farah was picked up at the sale barn after a supposedly lack luster career at the dairy resulted in early retirement. Milk cows are bred to produce milk, lots of it, way more than one calf could ever need, this makes them great as nurse cows. In addition to her own calf, Farah could perform nurse duties for another four or five little orphans and rejects with way less effort than bottle feeding. All you have to do is plan it so that she calves early in the season and then you've got a pinch titter waiting in the bull pen.

It all sounds simple but there is a slight catch. The catch is that hopefully calving goes well and you won't need Farah's services, but you've still got a milk cow and with no orphans around, she needs milking twice a day. Being the youngest this job fell my way more often than not.

When I first came to Japan my wife wanted to take me to one of these tourist farms where you can pay to milk a cow, I found this not just preposterous, but down right insulting. Milking the cow was never much fun. The process involves chasing them in to a pen that they don't want to go into, trying to get a halter on them and tie them up, then throwing down some corn so they'll eat and stand still. They always tend to be a bit sore down there, after all baby calves are born with teeth, and don't really enjoy the feel up. They tend to kick so after about the third time getting nailed you tie their leg to a post, and that's not even the worst part. When you take a cow off the pasture and an all grass diet and start feeding them full of corn it affects their digestive tract in about the same way that 6 shots of tequila and two extra fiery bean burritos affects mine the next morning. And no matter how you try and avoid it, milking takes two hand and you are eventually going to get swatted in the face with a warm slippery tail.

Despite all these hardships I did become quite proficient at milking a cow, which means being able to fill up your bucket before she finishes her corn and invariably tips it over. There is a certain skill in grabbing a teat, pulling and squeezing. Of course I discovered later in life that skills such as these do not easily transfer laterally. A discovery that seriously encumbered my high school dating experience and probably goes a long way in explaining my perpetual inability to make it no further than the edge of the proverbial second base.

There is a point to all of this rambling, the point being that non-beef cattle also have utility. The most obvious being their use as nurse cows but perhaps another use that many of you may not be aware of, namely CHEESE! You can take the milk from these cows and make cheese, and we love cheese. Not only do we love cheese, we sell cheese, and we want you to buy it from us.

We just moved, built a much larger meat processing floor, and added a new, licensed and inspected, cheese processing facility. In the coming months you'll see loads of additions to our cheese category and even now it's looking very good. Our cheddars and Parmegianno Reggianno are still the best sellers but I urge you to give the Roquefort and Gruyere a try if you haven't already. Good stuff! The whole selection as well of tons of new products are on our new and improved Store. Feel free to let us know if you are looking for something special, we'll do our best to find it.

If you haven't visited in a while we've got a new layout and tons of new products. Our hand-made sausages are a big hit as is our new line of spices. Give us a look-see!

Cheers,

-jason